In my other pages and in my ebook, I have kept the structure limited to material that can be validated scripturally or scientifically. Every claim in those works is tied to a text, a measurement, or a demonstrable mechanism. This page is different. It is included as an addendum because the event described here is not subject to external validation. It is not scriptural exegesis, not physics, not cosmology, and not measurement‑based geometry. It is a direct personal experience that occurred in 2019, and its relevance lies in the memories it unlocked and the context it provides for the rest of my work. For that reason, I have kept it separate from the main body of material, but available for those who want the full background.
In 2019, while staying at the Thunderbird Motel in Las Vegas, New Mexico with my two daughters and their biological mother, I experienced an event that was not physical. Earlier that day, I played The Sound of Silence repeatedly, near tears, saying over and over: “They don’t want to go.” Later I learned this referred to the eternal paradise universe. The song itself describes what happens when the angel of music withdraws from this universe.
That night I had an out-of-body experience. I was taken straight upward, very far and very high, carrying a non-physical but real amalgam of every lie, rape, murder, deceit, and wrong, along with the emotional weight of every victim. Within it were small fragments of goodness, but as a whole it was repulsive.
Years later, after reading the Qur’an, I recognized this “huge sack of sins” as the same concept described in Qur’an Surah al‑‘Adiyat (100:10) — “the day God receives the contents of their hearts.”
The sack vanished the moment I arrived.
I reached a place that is entirely spiritual, not located anywhere within this universe. It was utilitarian and unadorned. There were nine trapezoidal portals with rounded edges, grey-taupe in color, unmarked. I recognized them as portals to different creations:
This recognition was the first memory that surfaced.
A woman was there, kneeling, and expecting me. I recognized her but could not immediately recall how. My mind and soul were not aligned.
Later, after my soul‑level memories were processed through my prefrontal cortex, I understood who she is: the woman in the wilderness mentioned in Revelation, and my own female companion from the Eternal Paradise universe.
Our souls traveled together from our home in the Eternal Paradise universe, out of our lightbodies, and to the eye of the needle so my soul could be inserted into this universe. That is how my soul came to be here as a physical and spiritual orphan in a fetus of flesh — separated from my companion, separated from the place we originate, and an outsider in this universe.
This was not the first time we have done this, and it is not the first time I have had to come here. It is also not the first time she has had to sit and wait for me at that place.
She waits there for me to return.The place itself is the eye of the needle referenced in both scripture traditions:
I did not read the Qur’an until years after the experience. This location is within the domain of God Almighty, where there is no material matter — only spirit, and where God Almighty controls all access.
Exhausted, I collapsed on the floor. As I gathered my thoughts, the woman told me, “You have to go back.” I replied, “You don’t know how terrible that place is.” Her face softened with a look of concern I recognized. Immediately afterward, I was sent straight back down to the Thunderbird Motel.
The next morning I told the entire experience to my daughters’ biological mother. She was disinterested and only wanted to know where we were going for lunch.
It has now been seven years since this event.
Since that day, even though the flesh‑mind is terribly inefficient, I have been able to process many more memories from my soul through my prefrontal cortex, and it is a tedious process. I have distinct memories of the place I am from, exactly how and why I came here, and of my companion back home and our relationship.
She is the actual The Woman in the Wilderness: If she were here, you would not be able to pry us apart with a crowbar.
I do not speak for her, but having known her for as long as I have, I can say with a high degree of certainty she would be the first to tell you that she is unimportant; she is merely performing a task for her Lord.
She is older than this universe itself. Much older; yet she still looks like she's in her late 20's to early 30's. We've known each other for eons upon eons. Even though I've known her this long, she still makes my heart palpitate and throw clots.
It's been seven years since that occurred. She now has a better understanding of how terrible this place is. In those seven years they've taken everything I've ever had (except my soul). They also took my two daughters, the only blood relatives I ever had, whom they raped and murdered. I think they might have thought their actions could cause me to want to stay here - which is obviously ridiculous. Their idea of driving me out of town was to attempt to crash into me with a car as I hurriedly limped across the street toward the gas station restroom, eager to empty my bowels - sick from eating garbage. It didn't work out for them.
They still don't want to go. I don't cry about them anymore. In fact, I would ask God to NEVER allow any of them into the place I'm from - except for the two He already showed me who hadn't learned yet, but were learning and would have learned.
The matter has been referred to Allah.
He answered back "Susitna". That made me smile and makes everything that happened here "irrelevant".
With Allah's Permission, I'd like to declare my task complete.
They'll all misinterpret this song just as they misinterpret everything. That's one of the reasons they're all unadvisable.
Allah knows what it means. It means "I'm dying to get out of here."